“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest sep of your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take the step.” (Gemma Stone)
I was having lunch with an old friend the other day and she asked me what I’ve been up to since I left my job. The question made me pause because my immediate response was, “Oh – I’ve been busy.” But then I started thinking about what I’ve been busy with.
I’m a stay-at-home mama right now. That’s a new entry on my resume. It has changed the workings and rhythms at home, dynamics between my wife and I, my perception of myself and my ego. But that’s all big-picture stuff. The smaller picture – the stuff right in front of me every single day is the little things that keep me busy : job hunting (this has become a full-time job in and of itself), career exploration and reflection, taking care of the house , Shortstack’s schoolwork and figuring out how to be a better mama, my own creative endeavors (writing and yarn/fabric work that haven’t yielded any fiscal contribution to the family. Yet. But I’m not giving up.)
This has been a time of me taking VERY SMALL steps. But I keep stepping. Sometimes I’m not sure where I’m stepping to – or searching for – but I’m not stopping.
In the meantime, I am reading every single day. I am reading to feed myself and keep my mind fresh. And I’m reading to feed my writerly soul – to learn what works, what doesn’t, what I like and finding my unique and consistent voice. I heard a lot of hype about the Outlander series over the years, but I always passed on it. But, last week, I finally picked it up during our library run. It isn’t the quickest read I’ve had but it’s good. Very rich and demanding. In a good way. As a Madeleine L’Engle fan, it surprised me to find The Arm of the Starfish. How did I not know of this book before? And, finally, for a lighter read, I picked up Mercedes Lackey’s Winds of Change. I found her books while I was in high school (thanks, Amy!). Many book friends and worlds that have kept me company lately.
As for my yarn work … well, it’s been embroidery thread lately. I’ve picked up a few hoops, dug through my fabric stash and pulled out my craft stash to explore the embroidery floss that I’ve been collecting over the years. I love that I can combine the fabric and floss in an artistic way, using the words that I love. New additions to my Etsy shop soon. Yep – I’m really not giving up on my new adventures. Slow starts … but I keep on taking the steps.