Keep On Keeping On

It’s Friday. And my thoughts are jumbled and more than a bit cloudy thanks to pain killers and benadryl. And noisy neighbors. And an uncomfortable body. And there’s LOTS going on.

* Panda leaves on the red-eye tonight in order to pick up Shortstack tomorrow. She’ll be in the airport for less than eight hours. Usually I do this trip, but due to the surgery and her concern about my healing, she insisted (long before the surgery done) that she would make the trip. In hindsight, I am thankful that she had that foresight and insistence.

* I’m healing. At least I think I’m healing. But the complications have become overwhelming and horrendously frustrating. And painful. It’s painful now. Besides the opening incisions which look gooey and icky and needs attention twice a day, causes a good amount of pain and saps my energy; my body has decided to develop a secondary complication in this recovery process – I now basically have diaper rash under my breasts. Seriously. These were not recovery complications that were extensively covered in my research of breast reductions. Because we treat the open incisions with antibacterial ointment and gauze and coverage, the area has become an ideal breeding ground for the yeast infection that makes the lower part of my chest look like Shortstack’s diapered bum after a particularly warm or humid day. We have taken to applying Butt Paste under my breast as well as the daily treatment for the incisions. And, yes, we had Butt Paste on-hand in the house – it is awesome for little-boy chafing in sensitive areas after a day-long beach day {sometimes the sand and water and all-day running around in surf shorts can cause serious rashes – so the mamas have learned their lesson. Speedos, petroleum jelly, baby powder and Butt Paste!}. The itchiness has now become pain and, in an area that is dominated by very sensitive nerve endings, the natural healing process and the recovery complications have made this whole experience challenging.

* We finally picked up our other SUP. It was only a 4-month wait. And we only got it while I’m banned from the water. And when my wife and sister are being fierce enforcers me staying out of the water. The board’s personality is so playful and representative of our little ohana. It has three honus on the nose – ones that i illustrated and the crafter was able to apply – and an illustration of the island chain on the belly. Blues and greens. Broad and sturdy. I told Panda and my sister that I should be fine taking it out because I promise not to fall off! They didn’t buy it. But – mark my words – I will be getting on that board soon … or, at least Shortstack and Panda will.

* It’s “National Coming Out Day.” For those of you who don’t know or haven’t figured it out, I’m {possibly} gay. I know – such a strange comment for this mama to make considering that she’s married to another woman. This is an identity component that I have spent the past several years examining from every angle. Up until and around the time that I married Panda, I had identified (when necessary) myself as bi-sexual. After all, I have an sincere appreciation for the fine male physique, I have had intimate relations with men in the past and – when I found myself attracted to someone, it never was based upon their gender presentation. But Panda and I started to explore the twists and turns of my sexual identity as I finished work on my these and as we moved closer to our marriage. Despite my relationships with men, my deepest and emotionally intimate (vs. physical intimacy) relationships have always been with women. So, does that mean I’m strictly gay? Ahhhh … an ongoing conversation in my head. Sometimes I even hold panel discussions on the right side of my brain. I’m telling you – Lisa Land is an amazing place to be! So, as part of today’s “National Coming Out” day – I will come out to you as possibly gay. Until I get all that straightened out (seriously – no pun intended but pretty darn funny!) you can just take comfort in knowing that I love well and am well-loved by an amazing woman who demonstrates to me daily what selfless love is.

* My intention for the next four or five months is to purge our home of inconsequential clutter. Every once in while – truly, not very often – I get the urge to simplify parts of my life, our family world and our home. The urge has struck again! Possibly because I’ve been mostly home-bound for far too long and the house has been feeling smushed and full and overwrought. But also because Panda and I have been making a few visits to open houses and I have been inspired by the pared-down, de-cluttered houses that are set up for showings. And, the other contributing motivating force is  we have so much stuff that gets collected through daily life but doesn’t have much emotional, sentimental or historical significance and so the items that do matter to me, Panda, Shortstack or the family as a whole gets lost in the choas that overwhelms every room in the house. Oh! And did I mention that our landlord is having our house tented so we have to prepare for that … and the preparation process is intimidating to me – yes, I know it shouldn’t be – but it is.

* Panda leaves for Aussie-land in nine weeks. Shortstack and I leave in ten weeks. We are CRAZY excited for this trip! Besides the fact that it is our first family vacation in over a year, it is also our first trip to Panda’s home country and our first time seeing where and who she comes from and meeting people that mean so much to her {this, of course, excludes our Aussie family that graciously make their way to Hawaii nei whenever they can – you peeps know who you are!} . We will traipse through and explore Sydney and Canberra (if you didn’t know, Canberra is the capital of Aussie-land. Bet that’s news to you!), meet and hang out with friends and family – new and old, dip our toes in the Aussie beaches (swimming is still in negotiation – sharks, people!), and track down kangaroos, koalas, platypuses, and wombats. Damn skippy, we’re EXCITED!!!!

Well, peeps, it is Friday. The end of our week and – we hope – the end of yours as well. Take your time this weekend to rest and relax and enjoy the people that you love best.

(picture courtesy of Aunty Kylie)

 (picture courtesy of Aunty Kylie)

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